U&Gold TV Guide — Today Wed 24 Jun

Browse the full U&Gold TV guide for today. 30 programmes listed , including 9 tonight. UK listings updated daily — scroll down to tonight's highlights or use the day tabs above to browse the weekly schedule.

Early Morning

00:35 2h 15m

Bottom: Hooligans Island Live 1997

Film

Manic flatmates Eddie and Richie are marooned on a desert island

Manic flatmates Eddie and Richie are marooned on a desert island - with only a nuclear bomb for company

02:50 30m

Bottom

S2 · E3 · Burglary

The bachelors have a run-in with a burglar

Richie and Eddie's nocturnal peace is disturbed by a violent encounter with a burglar - resulting in the intruder's sack of loot falling into their sticky hands. Paul Bradley guests, with Adrian Edmondson and Rik Mayall

03:20 40m

Inside No 9

S8 · E1 · The Bones of St Nicholas

An overnight stay in a church on Christmas Eve yields dramatic results

Dr Jasper Parkway has booked an overnight stay in a reputedly haunted church on Christmas Eve. However, he is joined by unwanted guests. Comedy drama, written by and starring Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, with Shobna Gulati and Simon Callow

04:00 2h

Teleshopping

A chance to buy goods from the comfort of home

Morning

06:00 1h 25m

Teleshopping

A chance to buy goods from the comfort of home

07:25 35m

Ever Decreasing Circles

S3 · E6 · Cavaliers and Roundheads

Martin takes part in a battle re-enactment

Martin and Paul find themselves on opposing sides during a re-enactment of a battle between Cavaliers and Roundheads. Comedy, starring Richard Briers

08:00 40m

Porridge

S1 · E2 · The Hustler

Betting fever sweeps the prison

Betting fever sweeps Slade Prison, but the stakes rise too high for some of the inmates, stretching honour among thieves to the limit. Vintage comedy, starring Ronnie Barker and Richard Beckinsale

08:40 40m

The Green Green Grass

S2 · E3 · Bothered and Bewildered

Boycie decides his employees need to work harder

Boycie decides his staff need to work harder and vows to sack the next employee he catches slacking. Mrs Cakeworthy is the first out the door, but she soon has her boss regretting his decision when he learns she is a witch. John Challis, Sue Holderness and Ella Kenion star

09:20 40m

Are You Being Served?

S1 · E2 · Dear Sexy Knickers

A love letter from Mr Lucas to Miss Brahms goes astray

A romantic invitation from Mr Lucas to Miss Brahms is delivered to Mrs Slocombe by mistake. Shop-floor comedy, with Trevor Bannister, Mollie Sugden and Wendy Richard. First broadcast in 1973

10:00 40m

Last of the Summer Wine

S12 · E4 · Walking Stiff Can Make You Famous

Foggy invents bicycle polo

Feeling frustrated by his lack of fame, Foggy invents the sport of bicycle polo, convinced it will not only put his name in lights but prove a lucrative venture. Long-running comedy, starring Brian Wilde, Peter Sallis and Bill Owen

10:40 40m

Last of the Summer Wine

S12 · E5 · That's Not Captain Zero

Compo gets a showbiz break

Compo seizes the opportunity to break into the world of showbusiness when human cannonball Captain Zero cannot perform his act at the local garden fete. Trevor Peacock (The Vicar of Dibley) guest stars, with Bill Owen, Peter Sallis and Brian Wilde

11:20 40m

Porridge

S1 · E2 · The Hustler

Betting fever sweeps the prison

Betting fever sweeps Slade Prison, but the stakes rise too high for some of the inmates, stretching honour among thieves to the limit. Vintage comedy, starring Ronnie Barker and Richard Beckinsale

Daytime

12:00 40m

Keeping Up Appearances

S1 · E2 · The New Vicar

The vicar comes round for tea

Hyacinth invites the new vicar round for tea - but despite her meticulous planning, the afternoon does not go as planned. Comedy about a super-snob intent on climbing the social ladder, starring Patricia Routledge, Clive Swift and Jeremy Gittins

12:40 40m

The Green Green Grass

S2 · E3 · Bothered and Bewildered

Boycie decides his employees need to work harder

13:20 40m

Dad's Army

S6 · E4 · We Know Our Onions

The platoon takes part in an efficiency test

Captain Mainwaring and his platoon take part in a gruelling efficiency test in a bid to prove their worth, but end up mistakenly attacking a tea lady with onions from Jones's van. Classic comedy first shown in 1973, guest starring Fulton Mackay (Porridge)

14:00 40m

Ever Decreasing Circles

S3 · E6 · Cavaliers and Roundheads

Martin takes part in a battle re-enactment

Martin and Paul find themselves on opposing sides during a re-enactment of a battle between Cavaliers and Roundheads. Comedy, starring Richard Briers

14:40 40m

Are You Being Served?

S1 · E2 · Dear Sexy Knickers

A love letter from Mr Lucas to Miss Brahms goes astray

A romantic invitation from Mr Lucas to Miss Brahms is delivered to Mrs Slocombe by mistake. Shop-floor comedy, with Trevor Bannister, Mollie Sugden and Wendy Richard. First broadcast in 1973

15:20 40m

Red Dwarf

S6 · E5 · Rimmerworld

Rimmer gets marooned for 600 years

Rimmer abandons his crewmates on a disintegrating spaceship, and ends up marooned on a barren planet for 600 years. After decades of boredom, he uses the escape pod's cloning equipment to populate his new home with duplicates of himself. Sci-fi comedy, starring Chris Barrie

16:00 40m

Red Dwarf

S6 · E6 · Out of Time

The crew members receive an SOS call from themselves

An identical ship materialises alongside Starbug - and the crew members are alarmed to receive an SOS call from themselves, 15 years in the future. Sci-fi comedy, starring Chris Barrie, Craig Charles, Robert Llewellyn and Danny John-Jules

16:40 40m

Dad's Army

S6 · E4 · We Know Our Onions

The platoon takes part in an efficiency test

17:20 40m

Last of the Summer Wine

S12 · E4 · Walking Stiff Can Make You Famous

Foggy invents bicycle polo

Tonight's Highlights

18:00 40m

Last of the Summer Wine

S12 · E5 · That's Not Captain Zero

Compo gets a showbiz break

18:40 40m

Keeping Up Appearances

S1 · E2 · The New Vicar

The vicar comes round for tea

19:20 40m

Dad's Army

S6 · E5 · The Honourable Man

Sergeant Wilson joins the aristocracy

Sergeant Wilson inherits a title following the death of an elderly relative and joins the aristocracy - much to Mainwaring's annoyance. Classic comedy first aired in 1973, starring John Le Mesurier and Arthur Lowe

20:00 40m

Red Dwarf

S6 · E5 · Rimmerworld

Rimmer gets marooned for 600 years

20:40 40m

Red Dwarf

S6 · E6 · Out of Time

The crew members receive an SOS call from themselves

21:20 40m

Not Going Out

S7 · E7 · Surprise

Lucy plans an anniversary party for her parents

Lucy determines that on no account will her plans for a surprise anniversary party for her parents be revealed. However, she then makes the big mistake of disclosing the details to Lee. Comedy, starring Lee Mack and Sally Bretton

22:00 40m

Red Dwarf

S7 · E1 · Tikka to Ride

Lister faces life without curry

As the crew struggle to make an improbable comeback from the dead, Lister embarks on an intergalactic quest for vindaloo. He eventually winds up in Dallas in 1963, where he accidentally pushes a gun-man out of a window, radically changing history. Craig Charles and Chris Barrie star

22:40 40m

Red Dwarf

S7 · E2 · Stoke Me a Clipper

Rimmer's swashbuckling alter ego returns

Rimmer's swashbuckling alter ego returns to the Starbug suffering from fatal injuries and asks his cowardly lookalike to replace him as guardian of the universe. Comedy, starring Chris Barrie, Craig Charles and Danny John-Jules

23:20 40m

Bottom

S2 · E6 · 's Out

Richie and Eddie go camping

Wretched flatmates Richie and Eddie go camping in the country - but a complete lack of basic equipment ensures their efforts to get back to nature end in disaster. Anarchic comedy, starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson

Early Morning

Morning

Daytime

Tonight's Highlights

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