U&Gold TV Guide — Today — Schedule & Listings

Browse the full U&Gold TV guide for today. 34 programmes listed , including 9 tonight. UK listings updated daily — scroll down to tonight's highlights or use the day tabs above to browse the weekly schedule.

Early Morning

00:15 40m

The Fast Show

S3 · E3 · Zookeeper

The Squeamish Zookeeper feeds the penguins

The Squeamish Zookeeper feeds the penguins, Chris the Craftey Cockney talks to a newspaper seller, and the Suit You tailors show a new boy the ropes
00:55 35m

Not Going Out

S3 · E4 · Party

Tim and Lee plan a surprise party for Lucy

The friends plan a surprise party for Lucy's 30th birthday, but find they have different ideas about what makes a fun night. Tim wants to play charades with his sister, while Lee desires an evening of her undivided attention. However, when the guest of honour arrives, she is arm-in-arm with another man. Comedy, guest starring Timothy West, with Lee Mack, Tim Vine and Sally Bretton
01:30 50m

Keeping Up Appearances

S2 · E9 · The Three-Piece Suite

Hyacinth takes delivery of a new suite

Hyacinth is waiting for a new three-piece suite to be delivered, boasting it is an exact replica of the one at Sandringham House - and goes to extraordinary lengths to ensure her neighbours see the royal warrant on the delivery van. But, as ever, her family contrives to take the gloss off her moment of glory. Comedy, starring Patricia Routledge
02:20 30m

The Good Life

S2 · E6 · Home Sweet Home

Tom and Barbara are helped with their pigs

Tom considers leaving Surbiton to live on a farm, and the couple receive help with their pigs from a passing boar-walker. Sitcom, starring Richard Briers, Felicity Kendal, Penelope Keith and Paul Eddington
02:50 30m

The Green Green Grass

S1 · E2 · A Rocky Start

Boycie prepares to sack all the staff

Tyler and Marlene are not impressed by their new surroundings and want a swift return to Peckham, but Boycie warms to the idea of becoming a 'gentleman farmer', which seemingly involves doing little work and mingling with the country set. His manager Elgin persuades him to retain all his staff
03:20 40m

The Fast Show

S3 · E3 · Zookeeper

The Squeamish Zookeeper feeds the penguins

The Squeamish Zookeeper feeds the penguins, Chris the Craftey Cockney talks to a newspaper seller, and the Suit You tailors show a new boy the ropes
04:00 2h

Teleshopping

A chance to buy goods from the comfort of home

Morning

06:00 1h 25m

Teleshopping

A chance to buy goods from the comfort of home
07:25 35m

dinnerladies

S2 · E6 · Christmas

Twinkle and Stan spoil Petula's Christmas plans

Twinkle and Stan spoil Petula's plans for a peaceful family Christmas, and a baby is found abandoned near the canteen. Bren's romance with Tony is ruined by the unexpected reappearance of her husband, and Anita goes away - but leaves her inflatable man behind. Festive special from 1999, starring Victoria Wood
08:00 40m

The Good Life

S2 · E7 · Going to Pot?

Tom and Barbara attend evening classes

Tom and Barbara's visits to evening classes become unusually productive, while Margo struggles to master pottery. Comedy, starring Felicity Kendal and Richard Briers
08:40 40m

Only Fools and Horses

S2 · E2 · Ashes to Ashes

Del tries to sell a pair of antique urns

Del gets the chance to sell off a couple of antique urns - the only problem being that one of them contains the ashes of Trigger's late grandfather. Comedy, starring David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst, Lennard Pearce and Roger Lloyd Pack
09:20 40m

The Green Green Grass

S1 · E3 · The Country Wife

Marlene takes up cookery

Boycie puts Marlene under pressure to fit in with the locals, so she decides to take up cookery - an idea that does not go down well with her family. She orders her husband to pick blackberries for a pie, causing him to inadvertently trespass on the land of his anti-English neighbour. John Challis and Sue Holderness star
10:00 35m

Are You Being Served?

S3 · E4 · Cold Store

Mr Lucas takes a day off

Mr Lucas decides he's been to his granny's funeral once too often, and instead feigns illness so he can take the day off to visit his girlfriend. Department store comedy, with Mollie Sugden, Nicholas Smith and Trevor Bannister
10:35 40m

Last of the Summer Wine

S29 · E1 · Enter the Finger

Barry competes with a fitness-mad neighbour

Barry becomes dejected when his fitness-mad neighbour Boothroyd begins to outshine him in all things physical. However, he discovers that when it comes to karate, he may just have an advantage over his new rival. Long-running comedy, guest starring Brian Conley
11:15 40m

Last of the Summer Wine

S29 · E2 · Will the Genuine Racer Please Stand Up?

Howard tries to assume another identity

Howard becomes ill at ease with his lot in life, and tries to change his appearance so that not even Pearl would recognise him. But he soon discovers that the drawbacks of assuming someone else's identity are greater than the benefits
11:55 40m

The Good Life

S2 · E7 · Going to Pot?

Tom and Barbara attend evening classes

Tom and Barbara's visits to evening classes become unusually productive, while Margo struggles to master pottery. Comedy, starring Felicity Kendal and Richard Briers

Daytime

12:35 40m

Only Fools and Horses

S2 · E6 · It Never Rains

The Trotters go on holiday

Del and Rodney reluctantly agree to let Grandad accompany them on their holiday abroad - a decision they come to regret. Comedy, starring David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst and Lennard Pearce
13:15 40m

Only Fools and Horses

S2 · E2 · Ashes to Ashes

Del tries to sell a pair of antique urns

Del gets the chance to sell off a couple of antique urns - the only problem being that one of them contains the ashes of Trigger's late grandfather. Comedy, starring David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst, Lennard Pearce and Roger Lloyd Pack
13:55 40m

Keeping Up Appearances

S2 · E10 · A Picnic for Daddy

Hyacinth's picnic plans backfire

Hyacinth decides to take Daddy out for a picnic, but her plans soon backfire. Suburban comedy, starring Patricia Routledge, Clive Swift and Geoffrey Hughes
14:35 35m

Dad's Army

S5 · E12 · Round and Round Went the Great Big Wheel

A secret weapon goes haywire and threatens Walmington-on-Sea

A secret weapon goes haywire and threatens Walmington-on-Sea, so Mainwaring and his platoon abandon their cookhouse duties and speed to the rescue in Corporal Jones's van. Comedy, starring Arthur Lowe and Clive Dunn. First shown in 1972
15:10 40m

The Green Green Grass

S1 · E3 · The Country Wife

Marlene takes up cookery

Boycie puts Marlene under pressure to fit in with the locals, so she decides to take up cookery - an idea that does not go down well with her family. She orders her husband to pick blackberries for a pie, causing him to inadvertently trespass on the land of his anti-English neighbour. John Challis and Sue Holderness star
15:50 35m

Are You Being Served?

S3 · E4 · Cold Store

Mr Lucas takes a day off

Mr Lucas decides he's been to his granny's funeral once too often, and instead feigns illness so he can take the day off to visit his girlfriend. Department store comedy, with Mollie Sugden, Nicholas Smith and Trevor Bannister
16:25 40m

The Good Life

S2 · E7 · Going to Pot?

Tom and Barbara attend evening classes

Tom and Barbara's visits to evening classes become unusually productive, while Margo struggles to master pottery. Comedy, starring Felicity Kendal and Richard Briers
17:05 35m

Dad's Army

S5 · E12 · Round and Round Went the Great Big Wheel

A secret weapon goes haywire and threatens Walmington-on-Sea

A secret weapon goes haywire and threatens Walmington-on-Sea, so Mainwaring and his platoon abandon their cookhouse duties and speed to the rescue in Corporal Jones's van. Comedy, starring Arthur Lowe and Clive Dunn. First shown in 1972
17:40 40m

Last of the Summer Wine

S29 · E1 · Enter the Finger

Barry competes with a fitness-mad neighbour

Barry becomes dejected when his fitness-mad neighbour Boothroyd begins to outshine him in all things physical. However, he discovers that when it comes to karate, he may just have an advantage over his new rival. Long-running comedy, guest starring Brian Conley

Tonight's Highlights

18:20 40m

Last of the Summer Wine

S29 · E2 · Will the Genuine Racer Please Stand Up?

Howard tries to assume another identity

Howard becomes ill at ease with his lot in life, and tries to change his appearance so that not even Pearl would recognise him. But he soon discovers that the drawbacks of assuming someone else's identity are greater than the benefits
19:00 40m

Only Fools and Horses

S2 · E6 · It Never Rains

The Trotters go on holiday

Del and Rodney reluctantly agree to let Grandad accompany them on their holiday abroad - a decision they come to regret. Comedy, starring David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst and Lennard Pearce
19:40 40m

Dad's Army

S5 · E13 · Time on My Hands

A German pilot is trapped on top of the town clock by his parachute

Mainwaring is elated to find a German pilot trapped on top of the town clock by his parachute - but first the platoon has to get him down. David Croft and Jimmy Perry's classic comedy, starring Arthur Lowe, John Le Mesurier and Clive Dunn
20:20 40m

Only Fools and Horses

S4 · E2 · Strained Relations

The Trotters mourn Grandad's death

Del and Rodney mourn Grandad's death, and feel gratified to see such a good turn-out of friends and relatives at his funeral - even if most people are more interested in the food afterwards. However, one of the guests, a certain long-lost seafaring uncle, ends up outstaying his welcome. Long-running comedy, introducing Buster Merryfield to the cast as Uncle Albert
21:00 40m

Only Fools and Horses

S4 · E3 · Hole in One

Uncle Albert has a nasty fall

Uncle Albert has a nasty fall into the cellar at the Nag's Head, but turns his injury into a profit-making opportunity - eagerly egged on by wheeler-dealer Del-Boy. Vintage comedy, starring David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst and Buster Merryfield
21:40 40m

The Fast Show

S3 · E4 · Monster

The Ghoul gives a tip for a football match

The Ghoul gives a tip for a football match, Dave Angel the Eco Warrior talks about global warming, and Ron Manager discusses baldness
22:20 40m

Not Going Out

S2 · E4 · Baby

Lee and Tim babysit Guy's grandson

Lucy's worries about the age gap between her and Guy increase when he turns up with his grandson. A family emergency means Lee and Tim are left in charge of the youngster, but their babysitting skills leave a lot to be desired. Sitcom, starring Lee Mack and Sally Bretton
23:00 35m

Only Fools and Horses

S4 · E2 · Strained Relations

The Trotters mourn Grandad's death

Del and Rodney mourn Grandad's death, and feel gratified to see such a good turn-out of friends and relatives at his funeral - even if most people are more interested in the food afterwards. However, one of the guests, a certain long-lost seafaring uncle, ends up outstaying his welcome. Long-running comedy, introducing Buster Merryfield to the cast as Uncle Albert
23:35 40m

Only Fools and Horses

S4 · E3 · Hole in One

Uncle Albert has a nasty fall

Uncle Albert has a nasty fall into the cellar at the Nag's Head, but turns his injury into a profit-making opportunity - eagerly egged on by wheeler-dealer Del-Boy. Vintage comedy, starring David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst and Buster Merryfield

Early Morning

Morning

Daytime

Tonight's Highlights

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