Comedy Central TV Guide — Today Wed 15 Jul

Browse the full Comedy Central TV guide for today. 42 programmes listed , including 10 tonight. UK listings updated daily — scroll down to tonight's highlights or use the day tabs above to browse the weekly schedule.

Early Morning

00:55 35m

South Park

S5 · E6 · Cartmanland

Cartman inherits a fortune

Cartman inherits $1million and buys his own amusement park, but Kyle has trouble coming to terms with his friend's new-found wealth - making him question the existence of God

01:30 25m

South Park

S5 · E7 · Proper Condom Use

The children endure sex education

Thanks to Stan, the children have to endure sex education from Mr Mackey and Ms Choksondik - leaving them feeling dazed and confused

01:55 30m

South Park

S5 · E8 · Towelie

The gang takes on the US government

Stan's mother buys the boys a console called the Okama Gamesphere, but it is stolen whilst they are at school. To get it back they must help a talking towel take on the government

02:25 25m

Teachers

S3 · E19 · Teacher Depreciation Week

Mrs Adler, Ms Watson and Ms Cannon try to raise funds

Ms Bennigan attempts to balance being a teacher and a future stepmother, while Mrs Adler, Ms Watson and Ms Cannon try to raise funds for their classrooms

02:50 45m

Alan Carr: Yap, Yap, Yap!

Stand-up from the Hammersmith Apollo

A stand-up performance filmed at the Hammersmith Apollo, one of the venues on the award-winning performer's 158-date UK and Ireland tour of 2015. The comedian, author and chat show supremo is on top form as he regales the audience with tales of his dogs, going on safari with his mother, and flying high with Carol Vorderman

03:35 40m

The Daily Show

S31 · E85

A satirical sideswipe at the latest in news and current affairs

04:15 20m

Friends

S2 · E24 · The One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding

Rachel's former fiance gets married

Chandler becomes enamoured with a woman he meets on the internet, and the subject of children proves a thorny one for Monica and Richard. Rachel relives the ordeal of her failed wedding day while serving as bridesmaid at her former fiance's ceremony. Comedy, starring Jennifer Aniston

04:35 25m

Friends

S3 · E1 · The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy

Ross reveals his most secret fantasy

Ross foolishly lets Rachel in on his most secret sexual fantasy, while Phoebe consoles a heartbroken Monica and Chandler gets involved with an old flame whom Joey cannot stand. David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston star

05:00 1h

Teleshopping

Bargains galore

A chance to buy bargains galore

Morning

06:00 30m

The Real Cruise People

A perfect cruise, found by The Real Cruise People

A perfect cruise, found by The Real Cruise People. Cruise.co.uk

06:30 30m

Shop: Thane Offers

Visit Thane.tv and browse our selection of award winning home and fitness products that let you do more with less! Teleshopping.

07:00 1h

Cruise TV with LoveitBookit

Teleshopping feature bringing you the hottest destinations and latest deals to ensure your next cruise is your greatest one

08:00 35m

Friends

S2 · E7 · The One Where Ross Finds Out

Rachel confesses all to Ross

Rachel gets drunk and tells Ross she no longer craves his affection - throwing his mind into turmoil, as he had no idea she loved him in the first place. Meanwhile, Chandler regrets asking Monica to help him lose weight. Jennifer Animation and David Schwimmer star

08:35 25m

Friends

S3 · E23 · The One with Ross's Thing

Ross finds a growth on his buttocks

Ross discovers a strange growth on his buttocks, Phoebe finds it hard to choose between two prospective lovers, and Monica's boyfriend surprises her. Comedy, starring David Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow

09:00 30m

Everybody Loves Raymond

S2 · E9 · The Gift

Ray buys Frank an aquarium

Ray tries to ensure Frank's 65th birthday is memorable by buying him an expensive aquarium just like the one he has always admired in a local Chinese restaurant. Unfortunately, one of the fish dies, sinking the Barone household into gloom and discord

09:30 30m

Everybody Loves Raymond

S2 · E10 · High School

Debra and Ray attend a high-school reunion

Ray reluctantly attends a high-school reunion with Debra, only to discover she had been friends with the in-crowd who made his nerdy teenage years a living hell. Comedy, starring Ray Romano and Patricia Heaton

10:00 30m

Everybody Loves Raymond

S2 · E11 · The Letter

Debra writes a stern letter to Marie

Ray tries to intercept a strongly worded letter sent by Debra, telling Marie to stop interfering in her affairs. Comedy, starring Ray Romano, Patricia Heaton and Doris Roberts

10:30 30m

Everybody Loves Raymond

S2 · E12 · All I Want for Christmas

Debra and Ray's privacy is invaded

All Ray wants for Christmas is a little loving from his wife, but their hopes for an intimate Christmas are ruined by their family's constant interruptions

11:00 30m

The Upper Hand

S2 · E12 · She's My Girl

Charlie becomes the object of a teenage crush

Tom becomes dispirited when a girl he is infatuated with develops a crush on Charlie, so demands his mother dismissthe housekeeper. Comedy, starring Joe McGann

11:30 30m

The Upper Hand

S2 · E13 · The Anniversary

Charlie and Caroline celebrate

Charlie and Caroline celebrate his first anniversary as her housekeeper with a meal for two. However, during the course of the evening he becomes violently ill and has to be rushed to hospital. Comedy, starring Joe McGann, Diana Weston and Honor Blackman

Daytime

12:00 35m

The Upper Hand

S1 · E13 · Requiem

Charlie seems distracted

Charlie seems distracted, and Caroline wonders whether he is hiding a girlfriend. However, she later discovers it has something to do with memories of his father. Christmas edition of the comedy from 1990, starring Joe McGann and Diana Weston

12:35 30m

The Upper Hand

S3 · E1 · Bedtime Story

Caroline is interviewed by a famous TV personality

Caroline is interviewed at home by renown local television reporter Becky Barnes. Comedy, starring Diana Weston, with Jill Benedict

13:05 30m

Friends

S4 · E24 · The One with Ross's Wedding - Part Two

Part two of two. Rachel tries to get to London

Part two of two. As everyone makes their final preparations for Ross's wedding in London, Rachel tries to get a flight out to declare her love for him before he marries Emily. Guest starring Jennifer Saunders, Elliott Gould, Hugh Laurie and Tom Conti

13:35 25m

Friends

S5 · E1 · The One After Ross Says Rachel

Ross faces the music

Despite Ross's massive blunder, he and Emily go through with the wedding - but she is clearly devastated and sneaks out of a window at the reception, declaring she never wants to see him again. Guest starring Helen Baxendale, Elliott Gould and Jennifer Saunders

14:00 30m

Friends

S5 · E2 · The One with All the Kissing

Rachel returns from Greece

Rachel returns from Greece and Chandler proves popular with the womenfolk. Phoebe feels upset about missing out on all the excitement in London, so the gang decides to treat her to a weekend in Atlantic City. Comedy, starring Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry

14:30 30m

Friends

S5 · E3 · The One Hundredth

Surrogate mum Phoebe goes into labour

Surrogate mum Phoebe goes into labour and gives birth to triplets, but it proves harder than she anticipated to hand them over to her brother. Meanwhile, Joey experiences some pain of his own and Monica plans to spite Chandler by dating a male nurse

15:00 30m

Friends

S5 · E4 · The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS

Ross faces a dilemma

Emily makes a request that could change Ross's life for ever, presenting him with a huge dilemma. Chandler upsets Monica by gloating about sex, while Joey challenges Phoebe to perform a completely selfless act. Comedy, starring David Schwimmer, Matthew Perry and Courteney Cox

15:30 30m

Friends

S5 · E5 · The One with the Kips

Joey discovers Chandler's secret romance

Ross delivers devastating news to Rachel - he cannot spend time with her while Emily is in New York. Meanwhile, Joey discovers Chandler's secret romance. Comedy, starring Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer

16:00 30m

Friends

S5 · E6 · The One with the Yeti

Emily asks Ross to move away

Emily asks Ross to move away from his friends, while Monica and Rachel are understandably taken aback to meet a hairy man who they mistake for a yeti. American comedy, starring David Schwimmer and Helen Baxendale

16:30 30m

Friends

S5 · E7 · The One Where Ross Moves In

Ross moves in with Chandler and Joey

Ross moves in with Chandler and Joey, but the transition does not go as smoothly as expected. Danny deals Rachel's ego a blow by introducing her to an exceptionally dull date, and Phoebe becomes disillusioned with the health inspector she is seeing

17:00 30m

Friends

S5 · E8 · The One with All the Thanksgivings

The pals recall previous Thanksgivings

The pals digest a huge Thanksgiving meal and reminisce about their worst holiday experiences, including the time Chandler's father left his mother in favour of the houseboy, and the occasion in 1987 when a teenage Monica overheard Chandler calling her fat. Guest starring Morgan Fairchild

17:30 30m

Friends

S5 · E9 · The One with Ross's Sandwich

Ross falls out with his co-workers

Joey tries to cover up Chandler and Monica's relationship - but only succeeds in making himself look stupid. Phoebe persuades Rachel to take a literature class with her, while Ross falls out with his co-workers, convinced one of them stole his prized sandwich

Tonight's Highlights

18:00 30m

Friends

S5 · E10 · The One with the Inappropriate Sister

Ross turns to Joey for employment advice

Ross struggles to come to terms with life as one of the unemployed, and turns to Joey for advice. Rachel is disturbed by her new boyfriend's uncomfortably close relationship with his sister. Comedy, starring David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston

18:30 30m

Friends

S5 · E11 · The One with All the Resolutions

The pals make New Year's resolutions

The pals announce resolutions for the coming year and Chandler enlists Joey's help so he can kiss Monica at midnight during a New Year's Eve party. American comedy, starring Matthew Perry and Courtney Cox

19:00 30m

Friends

S5 · E12 · The One with Chandler's Work Laugh

Chandler's behaviour annoys Monica

Monica is annoyed by the fake laugh Chandler uses at work whenever his boss cracks a joke and the gang gets a shock when Ross introduces his new girlfriend

19:30 30m

Friends

S5 · E13 · The One with Joey's Bag

Phoebe meets her biological father

Phoebe meets her biological father for the first time and Rachel helps Joey look a little more sophisticated with the addition of a trendy shoulder bag - which everyone else mistakes for a women's handbag

20:00 30m

Friends

S5 · E14 · The One Where Everybody Finds Out

Chandler and Monica's relationship becomes public knowledge

Chandler and Monica's relationship finally becomes public knowledge to all but Ross, who is starting to get his life back on track by renting a flat opposite the girls. Comedy, starring Courteney Cox and Matthew Perry

20:30 30m

Friends

S5 · E15 · The One with the Girl Who Hits Joey

Ross makes a bad impression on his new neighbours

Ross makes a bad impression on his new neighbours, and Monica piles the pressure on Chandler, demanding more commitment than he feels able to give. Joey's latest girlfriend proves a little too fiery - but he is afraid to end their relationship

21:00 59m

Michael McIntyre's Big Show

S7 · E1

With Dermot O'Leary, Tony Hadley, Tom Kerridge and Jess Glynne

The comedian hosts from London's Theatre Royal Drury Lane. Dermot O'Leary bravely hands over his phone for Send to All, Spandau Ballet's Tony Hadley gets the shock of his life as he becomes the first ever Unexpected Star…Star of the Show, and chef Tom Kerridge helps Michael dish up a prank on a member of the public. Plus, music from Jess Glynne

21:59 1h 1m

Alan Carr: Yap, Yap, Yap!

Stand-up from the Hammersmith Apollo

23:00 30m

Whose Line Is It Anyway? USA

S13 · E1

With guest Jordin Sparks

The cast perform a vampire scene as aggressive talk-show guests, Jackass stuntmen and Elvis, while pop star Jordin Sparks joins for a samba dubbing scene

23:30 30m

Whose Line Is It Anyway? USA

S13 · E2

With guest Tiffany Haddish

Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie go through a portal to hell, while guest Tiffany Haddish joins Wayne Brady and Ryan as a three-headed singer harmonising about hot dogs

Early Morning

Morning

Daytime

Tonight's Highlights

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