TV Guide Comedy Central Wednesday

06:00
Teleshopping
Bargains galore
08:00
Last Man Standing

Yours, Wine, and Ours: With the house empty, Mike opts for more "me time" instead of doing couples things with Vanessa. He's soon reminded by Bonnie of how couples can drift apart. (S8, E03)
08:35
Last Man Standing

You've Got Male (or Female): Kristin entrusts Mike with the doctor's envelope that shows the gender of her unborn child, knowing that Vanessa will never be able to keep the secret. (S8, E04)
09:00
The Middle
Mike sends a colleague a romantic text intended for Frankie
Mike gets into the spirit of Valentine's Day by writing a romantic text for Frankie - but things go swiftly downhill when he mistakenly sends it to a colleague at the quarry instead - while Axl sets up a new business especially for the holiday, offering to break up with girls on behalf of guys who are too scared to do it themselves. Sue is thrilled when ex-boyfriend Matt invites her to the school dance, and Brick is upset to discover his sister has thrown out all of his school artwork
09:30
The Middle
Axl is horrified to discover his best mate Darrin fancies Sue
Axl is horrified to discover his best mate Darrin fancies younger sister Sue, and Mike isn't overly impressed either - especially when it seems his daughter is equally smitten. Frankie, meanwhile, is worried about Brick's safety when he sets off on a three-day school trip to Chicago. Family comedy, starring Patricia Heaton and Neil Flynn
10:00
The Middle
The kids smash the living-room window
Sue's hopes of a happy 16th birthday are jeopardised when she and her brothers accidentally break the living-room window and try to pin the blame on the local tearaways. But their parents are one step ahead and come up with a novel way of making their kids confess. Away from the domestic strife, Frankie is hoping to land a prime spot with a leading dentist - but first she has to impress no-nonsense teacher Mrs Armwood. Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm in the Middle) guest stars
10:30
The Middle
Janet helps out while sister Frankie studies for her dental exams
Frankie is struggling to find some peace and quiet to study for her dental assistant exam, so sister Janet comes to help run the family home while she gets stuck into her revising. However, the chaos of the Heck household proves just a little too much for perfectionist sibling. Meanwhile, Sue is on a mission to change her middle name - which oddly is also Sue - and Axl tries not to act like a jealous boyfriend when Cassidy's ex pays a visit
11:00
My Wife and Kids
Junior is given dating advice
11:30
My Wife and Kids
Jay takes up painting
Jay decides to become an artist and paints a portrait of Michael based on Michelangelo's David, making him feel inadequate at being constantly compared with such a paragon of physical perfection. Starring Damon Wayans
12:00
My Wife and Kids
Claire is grounded for shoplifting
12:30
My Wife and Kids
Jay attends couples therapy
Jay attends a couples therapy seminar, but the group causes more problems than it solves. Michael tries to teach Junior the value of money by encouraging him to start his own business - little suspecting he will turn to fraud. Starring Damon Wayans and George O Gore II
13:00
Friends
Rachel gets a dressing-down for dating Tag
Rachel gets a dressing-down at work for dating Tag, while Monica tries to buy her neighbours' friendship by making sweets for them - but finds their appetites to be greater than her desire to be popular
13:30
Friends
Phoebe plans to return to her flat
Phoebe plans to return to her flat and tries desperately to persuade Rachel to join her, while Monica is infuriated by Chandler's inability to tip appropriately. Ross looks after Ben during the holiday season, and dresses as an armadillo to keep him entertained
14:00
Friends
Monica turns up uninvited at her cousin's wedding
Phoebe's ex-boyfriend arrives back in town and Monica is angry at not being invited to her cousin's wedding. Chandler and Rachel feel guilty for eating a neighbour's cheesecake that was mistakenly delivered to their apartment. Comedy, guest starring Hank Azaria (The Simpsons)
14:30
Friends
Ross and Joey get trapped on the roof
Ross and Joey get trapped on the roof while waiting to watch a meteor shower. Monica's exhaustion leads to trouble with Chandler, and Rachel argues with Tag over which of them failed to post a parcel
15:00
Friends
Phoebe spends a surreal first day at work
Phoebe encounters a suicidal office worker during her first day as a telemarketer. Ross and Monica are upset to discover their parents intend to sell their childhood home, while Rachel and Chandler blame themselves for breaking Joey's favourite chair
15:30
Friends
The pals celebrate Rachel's 30th birthday
The pals celebrate Rachel's 30th birthday and reminisce about their own, including Monica's attempt to hide her intoxication from her parents, and Ross's embarrassing crisis, which resulted in the purchase of a red sports car. Comedy, starring Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer
16:00
Friends
Joey tells a fellow cast member that her character is to be killed off
Joey tells a fellow soap cast member that her character is to be killed off. Rachel and Phoebe sabotage each other's plans to date an attractive man who left his mobile phone in Central Perk, and Ross learns he is not allowed to play the bagpipes at Monica and Chandler's wedding. Guest starring Susan Sarandon
16:30
Friends
Chandler hears a startling revelation
Chandler hears a startling revelation about how his relationship with Monica almost failed to get off the ground in London. Joey tries to get ordained via the internet and Rachel teaches Ben practical jokes to play on Ross. Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc star
17:00
Friends
Joey and Ross date the same girl
Joey and Ross date the same girl, while Monica fights tooth and nail with a fellow bride-to-be for a special wedding dress and the right to hire Chandler's favourite band for the ceremony. David Schwimmer and Courteney Cox star
17:30
Friends
Joey is nominated for an award
Joey is nominated for a minor daytime drama award, Monica realises she will never again feel the thrill of a new romance and a student tells Ross he is in love with him. With Matt LeBlanc and Courteney Cox
18:00
Friends
Monica's attractive cousin visits
Monica is visited by a cousin she has not seen since childhood, whose stunning looks do not go unnoticed by Chandler. Rachel and Phoebe plan a last-minute bridal party, while Joey tries to trick his way into an acting role. Guest starring Denise Richards
18:30
Friends
Rachel meets an old college friend
Rachel meets an old college friend and wonders whether she should confront her about a boozy incident from their past that took a dramatic and passionate turn. Meanwhile, Chandler and Ross vie to outdo one another in the tuxedo stakes for the impending wedding. Winona Ryder guest stars
19:00
Friends
Chandler tries to write his marriage vows
With the wedding only four weeks away, Chandler struggles to write his vows and turns to Joey and Ross for much-needed help. Meanwhile, Monica has similar difficulties and recruits Phoebe and Rachel - but they soon get distracted and start reminiscing
19:30
Friends
Chandler reluctantly visits his father
Monica convinces a reluctant Chandler to travel to Las Vegas to invite his estranged father to their wedding, while Rachel gets into trouble for driving Monica's Porsche. Comedy, guest starring Kathleen Turner
20:00
Friends
Part one of two. Chandler goes missing on the eve of his wedding
Part one of two. Chandler's nerves get the better of him on the eve of his wedding and he disappears, leading to a frantic search by Ross. Joey rehearses for a film role with a major star, while Phoebe and Rachel make a startling discovery. Comedy, guest starring Kathleen Turner, Elliott Gould and Gary Oldman
20:30
Friends
Part two of two. The search for Chandler continues
Part two of two. The gang continues to search for the missing Chandler, who is still suffering a severe case of premarital jitters. Joey tries desperately to be released from his role in a major film so he can act as minister at the wedding. Gary Oldman and Kathleen Turner guest star
21:00
The Five-Year Engagement
Romantic comedy, with Jason Segel and Emily Blunt
2012
IMDB Poster
The Five-Year Engagement
A couple decide to get married, but before they can begin planning their wedding in earnest, a series of unforeseen events forces them to postpone the big day. As a career opportunity leads them to make a fresh start in another part of the country, second thoughts start to surface and the altar looks a very long way away. Romantic comedy, with Jason Segel, Emily Blunt and Rhys Ifans
00:30
Sofie Hagen: Comedy Central Live
The Danish comedian Sofie performs
01:00
The Ricky Gervais Show
The friends discuss law and order
The friends discuss law and order, which Karl claims not to have any interest in - but Ricky and Stephen are taken aback by his views on shoplifting. Karl also reveals his thoughts about noise pollution. Animated series, based on recordings from the trio's popular podcasts
01:30
The Ricky Gervais Show
Karl Pilkington shares his thoughts on medicine
Karl Pilkington shares his thoughts on sickness and advances in medicine, and discusses whether a machine that would enable doctors to feel patients' pain might be a good idea. Animation based on recordings from the popular podcast series, with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant
02:00
Impractical Jokers: Smashing Success
Hidden camera show
02:30
Impractical Jokers
The guys get a bit too greedy with fellow shoppers at the market
02:55
Impractical Jokers
The guys offer evocative responses while taste testing new foods
03:20
Impractical Jokers: Joker's Choice
Memorable moments from the first eight episodes
The guys look back on their favourite moments from the first eight episodes of the hidden camera comedy show, and share their experiences of humiliating themselves in public
03:45
Friends
Ross faces a dilemma
Emily makes a request that could change Ross's life for ever, presenting him with a huge dilemma. Chandler upsets Monica by gloating about sex, while Joey challenges Phoebe to perform a completely selfless act. Comedy, starring David Schwimmer, Matthew Perry and Courteney Cox
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