TV Guide ITV4 Saturday

Charlie makes a doctor's appointment for a vasectomy - but decides to freeze some sperm in case he ever wants children. However, the simple procedure of producing a sample seems destined to fail as his family and friends manage to thwart one attempt after another. Comedy, starring Charlie Sheen

Buying goods from the comfort of home

Buying goods from the comfort of home

With the year 1966 selected, Vicki Butler-Henderson and Alex Riley get behind the wheel of two British sports cars. Alex argues the case for the Jensen Interceptor FF, while Vicki champions the Lotus Europa. A winning car is picked by three expert judges - Former F1 driver and broadcaster Karun Chandhok, EX-Top Gear Stig and Hollywood stunt driver Ben Collins, and classic car specialist and auctioneer Nick Wells

Brian Moore presents action from the 1984/85 football season - highlights include Manchester United's trip to a snow-covered St James' Park to face Newcastle United, a behind-the-scenes report at Third Division Cambridge United who host promotion hopefuls York City, and the best of Blackburn Rovers against Fulham in Division Two.

An ailing diplomat asks Holmes to retrieve a document about a highly sensitive treaty between Britain and Italy, which an opportunistic thief has stolen from his desk at the Foreign Office. Drama, starring Jeremy Brett, David Burke and David Gwillim

A music teacher asks Holmes to discover the identity of a mysterious bearded cyclist who often follows at a distance as she makes her way to work. Period crime drama, guest starring Barbara Wilshere, Michael Siberry and John Castle

First of a two-part drama, which sees CS Forester's seafaring hero crossing swords with tyrannical Captain James Sawyer, an officer on the brink of madness. Reprimanded for falling asleep while on watch, young Horatio partly redeems himself by saving the Renown from seemingly certain disaster _ but ends up charged with mutiny. Ioan Gruffudd, Robert Lindsay and David Warner star

Henry Cole rides through the south of France, where he finds some of the twistiest roads imaginable. Back home, he meets the designers behind Aston Martin's first ever bike and tells the story of the Suzuki 750, the bike nicknamed 'the Kettle'

A tape implicating two senior police officers in a criminal conspiracy is mistakenly delivered to Daley Videos, and Arthur and Terry find themselves placed in contact with its owner - a local major crime boss. Ian McShane, Rula Lenska, Brian Blessed and Ray Winstone guest star

Charlie hurts Alan's feelings by asking him to stay out of the house while he has friends over, so Rose steps in to cheer him up - but finds his gloom hard to dispel. Sean Penn, Elvis Costello and Harry Dean Stanton guest star

Alan is encouraged by Charlie to return a keepsake he stole from Judith during their divorce. In doing so, he learns she has a new boyfriend - a revelation that makes him even more depressed. Comedy, starring Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer

Buying goods from the comfort of home